John McCain – Dancing Queen?

J. Marcus

Blender tied down the two candidates recently to discuss yet another silly puff piece about what each candidate listens to. After looking at their lists, however, I saw that the candidates are trying to convey their election pitches in the choices they provided us. Let’s take a look.

The number #1’s:

Obama – Ready or Not by the Fugees

Interesting choice. Let’s look at the chorus:

Ready Or Not, Here I Come, You Can’t Hide
Gonna Find You and Take it Slowly
Ready Or Not, Here I Come, You Can’t Hide
Gonna Find You and Make you want me.

Republicans feel the main point of attack against Obama is that people will think he’s elitist and out of touch, and won’t want to see him on their TVs for the next four years. So, based on his #1 pick, we can deduce that Obama wants us all to know that he’s got what it takes and will be president. Ready or not, he’s going to find you and make you want him. A little creepy, but then again, that’s what campaigning is – finding people and making them want you to be their president.

McCain – Dancing Queen by ABBA

Wait, what? I’m tempted to be a mean spirited jerk and say that John McCain picked this as #1 because the only thing that Alzheimer’s will allow him to remember was that he was dragged to Mamma Mia this weekend. The problem is that I am a mean spirited jerk, so let’s break down the chorus.

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Democrats feel that the main point of attack against McCain is… well… everything. Chief among Americans’ fears, however, is that McCain is simply too far removed from the common man and the 21st century to hold high office, much less car keys. Based on his #1 pick, we can deduce that McCain wants us to think of him as young and sweet, able to feel the beat, and may be able to dance if pressed. He’s also probably hoping that we heard “seventeen” as “seventy”. Take a look at him!, the lyrics scream at us, watch his scene and dig on.. the dancing… alright maybe he wants us to ignore that last part.

Anyway, here are some more highlights from the list, complete with psychoanalytical commentary from my rabid team of election monkeys.

Barack Obama

2. What’s Going On – Marvin Gaye
A call for justice and reason in society, as well as a cleaner environment.

5. Sinnerman – Nina Simone
Let’s hope the chorus of “Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?” means prosecution stays on the table.

8. Think – Aretha Franklin
Bad choice. If his opponents start thinking about what they’re trying to do to him, they might change gears and get something right.

John McCain

3. Take a Chance On Me – ABBA
Hmm. Well, I appreciate his honesty.

4. If We Make It Through December – Merle Haggard
More like November Rain.

8. I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra
What, was melanoma in Tacoma too obvious?

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